


A Hell of a Thing

by atrilial



Series: Lilly Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Aratoht, F/M, FemShep - Freeform, Shakarian - Freeform, arrival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atrilial/pseuds/atrilial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lilly Shepard debriefs with Admiral Hackett about Aratoht.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hell of a Thing

Lillian Shepard awoke to an intense pounding in her skull. Disorienting light was shining into her face, and it took her several seconds to get her bearings. Everything felt surreal.

_Oh please let the last two days have been a dream._

But as the buzzing in her ears began to fade, her mind finally registered the voices speaking near her. Admiral Hackett was here. That meant it was real. It was all real. Over 300,000 dead and it was all on her head. A wave of nausea swept through her and she wanted nothing more than to succomb to the blackness once more. But she had a responsibility, and she never ran away from her responsibilities. Someone would have to answer for this, and she knew that person had to be her.

Lilly gathered her strength and swung her feet around to sit up. She sighed, looking around. How had she ended up in the medbay in the first place? Oh...that’s right, she’d collapsed in her room after writing her report. She hadn’t even made it to the bed. She vaguely recalled hearing Garrus’ voice. Had he been there? What did he think of all this? She was afraid of the answer to that. 

Her movement caught Admiral Hackett’s attention, and he approached her grimly. Lilly sat tall, preparing herself for a railing. The Admiral eyed her critically.

“Hm, looks like you’ve recovered.”

Lilly shifted uncomfortably. “Admiral Hackett,” she acknowledged, allowing some of her surprising at seeing him there seep into her tone.

“Sounds like you went through hell down there. How are you feeling?”

That threw her off. She hadn’t expected him to be so...cordial.

“Fine. No more visions, if that’s what you mean.” He must have read her report by now. Surely he was concerned about what she’d written about seeing Harbinger. Did he think she was crazy? That was probably easier to believe than that she’d let all those people die in sober judgement. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” she admitted.

“You went out there as a favor to me. I decided to debrief you in person,” he explained. He stood taller, folding his arms behind his back, looking stern. “That was before the mass relay exploded and destroyed an entire batarian system. What the hell happened out there, Commander?”

“Have you received any intel about what happened?” she asked softly, trying to gage what he already knew and what he still needed to know. It was surprising how deeply it hurt to have lost his respect, as she was sure she had. She had failed on so many fronts.

“All I know is that I sent you out there to break Amanda Kenson out of prison, and now an entire system is destroyed. I hope you could fill in the leap of logic between those two events.”

Lilly inhaled deeply as she prepared to explain. Sliding off the table, she brought up her omnitool and sent him her report. “I confirmed Doctor Kenson’s proof. The Reapers were coming, and destroying that relay was the only way to stop them.” She paused, gathering herself up. “Kenson sedated me for almost two days.” It should never have happened. She should never have let herself be caught off guard like that. “I started the engine with little more than an hour left. I tried to warn the batarian colony, but...time ran out,” she confessed with a heavy heart. If she’d have been faster, stronger, smarter, something, it would have never happened. She would have been able to warn them. At least some of them might have survived.

“The batarians report no survivors from Aratoht.” She knew it was true, but hearing it confirmed - outloud - was painful. “At least you tried.”

She wanted to scream at that. So what? What did it matter that she’d tried? They were still dead. No amount of good intentions were going to change that. But she stayed collected. She was still an officer and she would carry herself like one. For her team, if nothing else.

“And you believe the Reaper invasion really was a threat?” he continued.

This she could answer with certainty.

“No doubt about it. We literally had minutes to spare.”

“I’m sure all the details are in your report.” He paused. “I won’t lie to you, Shepard; the batarians will want blood, and there’s just enough evidence for a witch hunt. And we don’t want war with the batarians. Not with the Reapers at the galaxy’s edge.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, but she knew. She would have to be the sacrificial lamb. Only, she was not so innocent, whatever her intentions.

“You did what you did for the best of reasons, but... There were more than three hundred thousand batarians in that system. All dead.”

“They died to save trillions of lives. If I could have saved them, you bet your ass I would have.” Too little, too late, but she wanted him to know all the same.

“You’re preaching to the choir, Commander. If it were up to me, I’d give you a damn metal.” For what? She’d done nothing worthy of that. Besides, the ones she had from Elysium just collected dust. What good was a medal when so many lives were lost. “Unfortunately, not everyone will see it that way.”

“So what do you suggest?” she asked quietly, resigned to her fate.

“Evidence against you is shoddy, at best. But at some point, you’ll have to go to Earth and face to music. I can’t stop it...but I can and will make them fight for it.”

She asked him a few more questions about the state of things, but was hardly aware of what was said. When there seemed nothing more to say, she assured him of her cooperation.

“I’ll gladly stand trial once this mission is done.” And it almost was. The crew needed to be dealt with, but with the suicide mission behind them, there wasn’t much more to do.

“Glad to see working with Cerberus hasn’t stripped away your sense of honor.” He turned, preparing to leave. “Do whatever you have to do out here. But when Earth calls, you make sure you’re there with your dress blues on, ready to take the hit.” He faced her one last time. “In the meantime, you keep this,” he said, deleting the report from his omnitool. “I don’t need to see your report to know you did the right thing.”

“Yes, sir.” What else could she say?

“You’ve done a hell of a thing, Commander.” And with that, he was gone.

A hell of a thing.


End file.
